"The greatest philosopher of our time."

Again, I found this list from the awesome OnMyList. My favorites from the list include:

"I think I am, therefore, I am. I think."

"Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?"

and

"If god had intended us not to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter."

I certainly don't consider George Carlin as a candidate for the greatest philosopher. But no one is that stupid to correct it. You can read more quotes from Mr Carlin here.